Isaac and Rebecca
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5769
Rivkah falls off the camel as she encounters Yitzchak.
As with every verse in the Torah, we must ask ourselves “why is it recorded, what is it there to teach us? It certainly creates a memorable picture in our mind of the encounter but we must then ask, who cares? Why is this piece of information important enough to merit inclusion in the eternal Torah?
In order to answer that question, in the age old Jewish tradition, I will ask you another one.
At the end of our parsha we encounter the classic scene in which Yaakov and Rivkah trick Yitzchak and steal the blessings from Esav. That episode raises many questions: What was Yitzchak thinking? How does the blessing work? Were Yaakov and Rivkah right or wrong?
Of most interest to me this morning is the following powerful question:
Why doesn’t Rivkah simply tell Yitzchak that he is making a terrible mistake? Or at least question his decision and have a conversation about it.
That on its own is a great question but it becomes even better when contrasted with a similar incident in the lives of Avraham and Sarah.
Avraham and Sarah also have two sons, one good and the other less so. They also come to a point where the wife is nervous about the less good son and the husband might not be aware of that sons issues.
What does Sarah do at that point? She does not sneak around and try and manipulate the situation etc. She, very directly, speaks to her husband and tells him, chuck the boy.
When encountered with the same situation- why doesn’t Rivkah do the same? Speak directly to Yitzchak and say: “what in the world are you thinking?” Don’t you see what he is?
It is certainly interesting that not one of the classical commentators raises the issue when explaining these verses.
So we have to look elsewhere and ask one more question to finally begin to answer all of them.
Earlier in the Parsha, at the very beginning Rivkah senses that there is something different about this pregnancy and goes to ask God what is going on? She is told, you are having twins and they will become two different nations and the younger will rule over the older.
Does she share this information with Yitzchak? Does she share it originally and even if not then, does she share it with him before the incident with the berachot here.
It seems that:
- This is important information for Yitzchak to have as it should impact who receives the berachot.
- From the fact that Yitzchak does not simply bless Yaakov, it seems that she did not share the information with Yitzchak.
Now the question is even better? Why not?
Some have suggested that she was so overwhelmed by her twins that she could focus on nothing else and she simply forgot to tell Yitzchak. Just kidding, no one actually says that- that’s just me projecting!
Seriously, I found three answers:
- Abarbanel – addressing only the latter case assumes that had Rivkah told Yitzchak he would have listened to Hashem and blessed Yaakov but it would not have been with a sense of anger and unhappiness and she would rather have Jacob blessed with a full and happy heart even if that came in a somewhat circuitous manner.
- Ramban- tries to explain both cases. Initially says the Ramban, she did not tell Yitzchak ether because she thought he already knew or because it was a lack of modesty for her to approach God without his permission. Each of those answers needs its own discussion but that is not for now.
In terms of the latter case- the Ramban argues that Yitzchak would not have listened and would not have blessed Jacob and so it was better not to tell him and in doing so allow Yaakov to steal the blessing.
The common denominator between the 2 is that both Abarbanel and Ramban agree that Rivkah could have told Yitzchak but for a specific reason chose not to.
- The Netziv has different suggestion entirely. Before anyone accuses me of heresy let us remember that the Netziv, Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin was a Rosh Yeshiva in the great Brisker Yeshiva in Volozhyn and was a respected Talmudist and halachist.
He explains that Rivkah and Yitzchak did not have the same kind of relationship that Avraham and Sarah and Yaakov and Rachel enjoyed. Rather they had tremendous difficulty communicating in their relationship. His proof is that Rivkah does not tell Yitzchak about the prophecy nor does she speak to her husband about their children as Sarah and Avaraham did. And when she was barren she did not turn to her husband for help like Rachel did; all we are told is that Yitzchak davened.
Why did they have these issues?
Because she fell off the camel! The first time she sees Yitzchak he is communing with God in the field in a near angelic manner and she is in awe of him and can only approach him afterwards with fear and trepidation. She can not relate to such a holy man in a casual manner and thus their relationship suffers.
In the interest of full disclosure, the Netziv believes that this is all a divinely orchestrated plot with a specific purpose and so God plans it so that she will encounter him at exactly that moment. That is a more difficult piece to swallow but it does not detract from his brilliant analysis.
That seemingly tangential and unimportant description of the first encounter between Yitzchak and Rivkah is not only important (and thus merits inclusion) but it holds the key to understanding a one of the greatest stories in the Torah.
The message for us is that whether this was divinely orchestrated or not, a feeling of comfort with one’s spouse and the ability to communicate openly are the keys to a successful marriage.
