Appreciating Others’ Work on Behalf of the Shul
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5767
It is amazing that when you look through the Torah and its descriptions of the 40 years in the desert there are two words that you never hear the Jews utter towards God, and those are two very important words and they are: THANK YOU!
Rather every time that God does something positive for the Jews it seems that it is not enough and that it could have been done better.
God takes the Jews out of Egypt and there are no thanks, just a complaint – why did you take us out to have us killed here. The implicit suggestion is that it would have been better had god killed the Egyptians in Egypt; that would have been better.
God provides water for the Jews and sustenance in the form of the Manah and again, the Jews complained. They wanted meat and quail. God forbid that they should say thank you for the miraculous food; no- God you should have done better and provided us with real meat.
God says that he will lead the Jews in battle into the land of Israel and destroy the inhabitants of the land. Did the Jews say thank you God, lead the way! No, instead they knew better and they sent spies. They needed to map out the route and see who they were going up against. That “I knew better” cost them 40 years in the dessert.
God chose Moshe Rabbeinu as the leader of the people. He was God’s prophet and God’s choice, but Korach knew better. We are all holy he says; we can all lead. Korach and his band get swallowed up by the ground and 250 community leaders were consumed by a divine fire.
In this week’s parsha, after God has given them specific instructions as to how to build the Mishkan and how to worship God, those stiff-necked Jews knew better again; so, they built the Golden Calf. Three thousand died by the sword, and untold others died in a plague.
The most amazing part of the Torah’s story is that, despite this attitude, God kept giving. That happened for one very simple reason: only God could endure that much complaint and criticism and keep on giving.
It seems that with so many things in the shul there are rarely any thanks given out, but there is always someone who knows better; someone who knows how to place things better,
or get something for cheaper
or run a program better,
or schedule something better.
And like the Jews in the desert, we are not afraid to voice our displeasure or suggestions. And like the Jews in the desert, two words that are not heard often enough are “thank you”.
Unlike the Jews in the desert, the givers here are not divine beings, they are human and eventually, after enough criticism without appreciation, they will simply stop giving; and then, we all lose.
Another dissimilarity between the Midbar (desert) and the shul is that: while we should assume that everything that God does is as it should be done, that is not necessarily so with humans. Sometimes things can be done better and sometimes constructive criticism is warranted.
To that, I would stress three rules:
- Learn to distinguish between what is warranted and what is not.
- When offering constructive criticism, do it not with condescension or simply because you like to complain.
- Even if you are of good intention and the criticism is constructive and warranted, remember that this does not affect your obligation to be appreciative and first say “thank you.”
These are two very important words: “Thank you.” It tells the person to whom you are speaking that their work is appreciated; and it will instill in you a proper level of appreciation toward the person whom you are thanking.
Ask yourself, when is the last time that I thanked anyone who worked on behalf of the shul? When is the last time that I offered criticism? Which do I do more?
And then, take it upon yourself to improve your answers to those questions.
