Kindness, Decency, and Respect
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5772
I spent a part of my vacation at a ranch in the Catskills with my family. One of the afternoons as I was walking down the hall from our room to the main cabin I walked past a teenage girl sitting on the floor reading a book. I figured that she was someone’s kid who either had a fight with her parents or had a baby sibling sleeping outside and didn’t give her a second thought.
As we made our way back and forth she was still there, sitting in the hall for a couple of hours.
My sister who is obviously more astute than I am, or at least pays more attention to what people are wearing, realized that she was not one of the Jews who was there on vacation and went to see who she was. It turns out that she was a local teenager who was hired to babysit one of the vacationer’s children. They did not require her services when they were in the room so they had her sit outside. They didn’t offer you a chair, my sister asked? No, said the girl, almost embarrassed. Can I get you some coffee or soda, my sister asked? They have coffee here?! That would be great. Thank you.
I don’t know who was in the room, but it probably is better that way. What a chillul Hashem! This Jewish family employs a local babysitter and they treat her like one of the horses on the ranch. There was a common room with couches and a drink and a TV. Who puts another person outside without a chair or anything? We don’t even treat our pets that way!
And you wonder where the respect is? The common decency? The kindness?
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. We have somehow forgotten that kindness, common decency and respect are crucial Jewish values. I found a great source, albeit not where I thought I would find it, in this morning’s parsha that teaches us just how important these things are.
The Torah in chapter 15 verse 20 describes Miriam as she takes the instruments in her hand and leads the women in praise as “Miriam the prophetess, the brother of Aaron.”
ותקח מרים הנביאה אחות אהרן את התף בידה ותצאן כל הנשים אחריה בתפים ובמחלת
Nearly all of the commentators ask the same question: why is she so described? We already know that she is Aaron’s brother? Why tell us that now? Furthermore, why is she described as Aaron’s brother and not Aaron’s and Moses’s brother?
Rashi explains that Miriam prophesied when she was only Aaron’s brother, i.e. before Moshe was born. That was when she prophesied that her mother would have a son.
Rabbi Moshe Alshich, 16th century Turkey, taking that one step further argues that Miriam’s prophecy when she was only Aaron’s brother was more specific than what Rashi records. Miriam understood that not only would a son be born to her parents but that son would redeem Israel from Egypt. This is the moment when that prophesy came true and thus she is called the prophetess, sister of Aaron whose prophecy when she was only the sister or Aaron has now come true.
The Netziv and others argue that this is to teach us that she achieved the same level of prophecy as Aaron but did not achieve that of Moses. Possibly the Torah would add that here in order to counter the impression that we might have formed. We might have thought- Moshe led the men and his equal Miriam led the women. Thus we are told she is a prophetess, the sister of Aaron, ie on the level of Aaron.
Most fascinating though is the answer of the Ramban, also quoted by Rabbeinu Bechaya. The Ramban argues that once Moses and Miriam are mentioned in the song at the sea, it is only appropriate that Aaron, the 3rd leader be mentioned as well. Therefore the Torah refers to Miriam as the sister of Aaron in order to honor him by mentioning his name.
In other words, this description adds nothing to our understanding of the story or the text. God adds the description to the Torah simply to give the proper respect to Aaron that he is due.
When Aaron would read the Torah and see that he is nowhere to be found, how would he feel? Even if you assume that the Torah was given at the end in one felled swoop and Aaron would not read it, given Aaron’s contributions to the journey, is it not right to mention his name in at the time of victory and exaltation? Shouldn’t we properly appreciate and note all that he has given to the people?
According to the Ramban, those considerations compel God to add two words to the torah!
Appreciate a person’s contributions, and make sure that you go out of your way to give each person their due respect. That is so important that God puts two extra words in the Torah in order to teach us the value of consideration, respect and appreciation.
I really like that answer, I just was not sure that I bought it from a textual perspective.
I thought about it for a while and I came up with the following suggestion. Maybe Miriam is described as Aaron’s sister because it is the quality that they share in common which causes her to take up the instruments and lead the women in song.
What defines Aaron?
Aaron cares about everyone! The Mishna tells us that he loves peace and chases peace but we forget the end of that Mishna, Aaron is an ohev et habriot. It does not say that he loves people, and it does not say that he loves Jews. He loves the created! Human beings that God created deserve to be respected and loved. That is why he cared about everyone and tried to restore peace amongst God creations.
Maybe Miriam understood that as well. We, men and women, are God creations and as such we all should participate in the praise and appreciation of what God did for us.
At the end of the day both this approach and the Ramban’s focus on appreciation and respect for our fellow human being really spoke to me.
That is a lesson that we need to hear and internalize!
