Quiet During Kaddish & Our Relationship With God
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5773
Three weeks ago at the Kiddush someone came over to me and said: “I am glad that you finally got the decorum down for adon olam, how about getting the people quiet during kaddish. It is just wildly disrespectful.”
On one hand, I was glad that I am not the only one who feels that way, yet on the other hand, it was depressing that many others do not get it.
A large part of the problem is the nature of our relationship with God. That issue is highlighted by a problematic verse/declaration in this morning’s Parsha.
שמות פרשת שמות – וארא פרק ו
ב) וַיְדַבֵּר אֱלֹהִים אֶל מֹשֶׁה וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו אֲנִי יְיָ
ג) וָאֵרָא אֶל אַבְרָהָם אֶל יִצְחָק וְאֶל יַעֲקֹב בְּאֵל שַׁדָּי וּשְׁמִי יְיָ לֹא נוֹדַעְתִּי לָהֶם
2. And God spoke to Moses, and said to him, I am the Lord;
3. And I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, by the name of God Almighty, but by my name The Lord was I not known to them.
All of the commentators are bothered by the same issue and ask the same question. What does it mean that I did not appear to the patriarchs with Shem Hashem?
To further complicate matters, if you look at the stories of the patriarchs throughout the book of Bereishit you will certainly find the name Hashem used.
Rashi notes that it is does not say that I did not make them aware of this attribute, rather it says, I did not deal with them with the attribute. That attribute is that I am נאמן לאמת דברי – I am true to my word and keep my promises. I made many promises to the patriarchs but they did not live to see them fulfilled.
There are two issues with this approach. The Ramban correctly notes that this is generally not the meaning that we give to Shem Hashem. Usually Adoshem connotes mercy or spirituality as opposed to the natural/justice theme of Elokim.
Secondly the Abarbanel points out that it was not that God did not keep his word to the patriarchs, he simply promised them things, redemption and land, that would take place after their deaths.
There are many other suggestions but the one that really caught my attention was offered by the Abarbanel. He explains as follows. וּשְׁמִי יְיָ לֹא נוֹדַעְתִּי לָהֶם refers not to the attribute of interaction but to the method of interaction. God is telling Moshe “I appeared to the patriarchs in dreams and visions, וָאֵרָא אֶל אַבְרָהָם but I did not reveal my true self to them as I do with you, for you Moshe I speak to face to face. I have direct communication with you. You have a better understanding of who and what I am then your ancestors because we can interact in this manner. They did not truly know me as you do.
He continues with an amazing piece that highlights the importance of that type of interaction.
He notes that the next two verses each have the same extra word. God tells Moshe that he is Hashem and that he Moshe is different that the patriarchs.
The next verse reads:
ד) וְגַם הֲקִמֹתִי אֶת בְּרִיתִי אִתָּם לָתֵת לָהֶם אֶת אֶרֶץ כְּנָעַן אֵת אֶרֶץ מְגֻרֵיהֶם אֲשֶׁר גָּרוּ בָהּ
And also– I must fulfill the covenant of giving them the land.
And the verse after that reads:
ה) וְגַם אֲנִי שָׁמַעְתִּי אֶת נַאֲקַת בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר מִצְרַיִם מַעֲבִדִים אֹתָם וָאֶזְכֹּר אֶת בְּרִיתִי
And also, I have heard the cries of the Jews.
What is the connection between them? What does the manner of interaction have to do with fulfilling the promise and the cries of the Jews?
Abarbanel argues that God is giving Moshe three reasons that he is going to redeem the Jews. That is a, and also b and also c.
The promise to the patriarchs and the cries of the current generation of Jews are two very good reasons for the redemption. What is amazing is that the first reason is – I did not communicate with the patriarchs in this manner! וּשְׁמִי יְיָ לֹא נוֹדַעְתִּי לָהֶם is the first reason!
Since when is that a reason for the redemption?
He writes: The idea is that the redemption was necessary so that the people of Israel and Moshe, each according to their level, will experience direct prophecy in such a way that they will recognize and understand God and God’s greatness in a way that the patriarchs did not.
A critical part of the redemption is that the people should know the God which they worship.
That I believe is a large part of our problem with shul. Forget the revelation at Sinai, forget witnessing divine communication in a wakened state, we don’t even approach the manner of interaction of the patriarchs, visions and dreams.
I know that many of you try and fall asleep to induce those visions and that connection but how often do you succeed?!?
We speak the words to God but there is no communication and no understanding of the being that we worship and direct our words to. It makes prayer extremely difficult.
That brings me to the rub with Kaddish. In kaddish we are basically asking for that which we don’t have. Yitgadal v’yitkadash shme raba- your name should be great. Yehe shme raba l’olam, your name should be great forever.
Essentially kaddish is a prayer that God’s name should be great and known, we are at some level praying for that which we don’t have yet, for that which we are missing. The problem is that we are so distanced that we are not even paying attention to the prayer that requests that which we don’t have.
