Ayin Harah
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5768
I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a Shiva home where an elderly person has passed away and someone inevitably asks, “How old was he or she?” And as soon as the avel responds, 93 or 95, inevitably someone responds, ken ayin hara! More often than not I bite my tongue and refrain from saying, no – not really, not anymore.
Why do they respond that way? Because that is their instinctive response upon hearing an “older age” – Ken ayin hara.
And so we ask ourselves: What is an ayin hara? What does it mean? Can you give someone else an ayin hara? Can we just write it off and call it a day?
In terms of the last question, I would say two things:
- Just writing is off, as much as the rationalists amongst us would like to, it seems too well imbedded in our texts and traditions to simply ignore.
The question was asked to Rabbi Meshulam Roth, in the early 20th century, isn’t it wrong to believe in Ayin hara?
His answer is quite simple- he provides a full page of Mareh mekomot in the Talmud and Midrash dealing with the topic and lets the sources speak for themselves.
- The source might be in the torah itself.
This morning we read of the counting of bnei yisrael and the counting of levites. In contrast to the count recorded in Exodus where the count is done via the half shekels, here God instructs Moshe to count them “kol zachar Legilgulotam” each male is to be counted by head.
Both Rashi and Ramban note that here too the count is done through the collection of a half shekel, because counting people is out of the question. The Torah tells us in Shemot
שמותפרקל
(יב) כִּי תִשָּׂא אֶת רֹאשׁ בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לִפְקֻדֵיהֶם וְנָתְנוּ אִישׁ כֹּפֶר נַפְשׁוֹ לַיקֹוָק בִּפְקֹד אֹתָם וְלֹא יִהְיֶה בָהֶם נֶגֶף בִּפְקֹד אֹתָם:
Rashi commenting on that verse explains:
ולא יהיה בהם נגף – שהמנין שולט בו עין הרע והדבר בא עליהם, כמו שמצינו בימי דוד:
When you count and number a group of people, they are subject to ayin hara and disease follows. According to Rashi and Ramban that is always the case and therefore the count in Bamidbar must also have been through the medium of the half shekel.
Abarbanel argues and reads the verses in Bamidbar literally. The count was done by head and was not subject to the concern in Shemot because this was a count commanded by God and those who are performing God’s command will encounter no harm. For as he obviously points out – only God has the power to harm and bring disease!
Yet Abarbanel agrees that for an unnecessary count like the one in Shemot, a head count would be unadvisable out of concern for ayin hara.
They argue only about the need for a medium in a God commanded count.
I will try and explain the argument in a moment, but to do so first a word on ayin hara in general.
In nearly all of the Talmudic and Midrashic episodes in which ayin hara is a
factor, the prime concern is jealousy.
- The Midrash tells us that Hagar miscarried before having Ishmael because Sarah gave her an ayin hara and that caused the miscarriage. Sarah as we could well imagine was terribly jealous of Hagar.
- The Gemara in Baba Basra 2b instructs us not to gaze at our friend’s field when in is in full bloom or harvest. Rashi explains, lest the field be damaged via ayin hara. You stare at your friend’s field, see how much they have and become jealous.
- The Torah records that as the brothers entered Egypt (Genesis 42/5) to get food during the famine they did so “amongst those going down to Egypt for food.” They blended into the crowd, we might say. According to the Midrash quoted by rashi, Yaakov instructs each of them to enter through a different gate to avoid receiving an ayin hara because they were all beautiful and strong.
Why would that bring about the ayin hara? Because if they came as a group and drew attention to themselves people would see a group or family of able bodied handsome men and become jealous.
Now we ask so what, they are jealous, why should they have an affect on the object of their jealousy?
Many of the sources speak in terms of sparks of venom being sent out by that ayin hara, but I must admit that those are terms with which I am neither familiar nor particularly comfortable.
The best answer that I have come across is given by Rabbi Dessler in his Michtav Me’eliyahu.
- He says, we are all connected spiritually and therefore can affect one another. If your existence or wealth or beauty bothers me, I can affect you.
- And that is fair because all too often the person who is the object of the jealousy is also partially to blame for that jealousy. Just look at Hagar’s actions and her demeanor towards Sarah. Surely she is partly to blame for Sarah’s jealousy. Similarly each display of wealth, beauty or power can be a jealousy-causing act.
With that we come back to Rashi and Ramban vs. Abarbanel. At first I sided with Abarbanel (no need for a medium in a God’s commanded count), when we are doing God’s will why should we worry about ayin hara. But that was probably because I was not comfortable with the idea. Now less uncomfortable with the idea, I think that Rashi and Ramban are onto something.
The problem with counting is that it is a show of strength – look how many and mighty we are. Thus we try and count in the most inconspicuous and unpretentious way in order not to cause jealousy and in order not to inflate our ego and cause arrogance (that aspect should not be lost on us either).
If that is the point, say Rashi and Rambam, then it is well taken no matter what we are doing. You always need to be careful regarding your appearance and its affect upon you and others even and maybe especially when doing Gods will.
That is what ayin hara is all about.
Red bendels and other superstitions, those are another story!
