The Danger of Unchecked Perception
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5768
Chana, a self-appointed monitor of the Shul’s morals (Yenta), kept sticking her nose in to other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Moishe, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his car parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Moishe (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
Moishe, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend, or deny…he said nothing.
Later that evening, Moshe quietly parked his car in front of Chana’s house…walked home…and left it there all night!!!
You gotta love Moshe!
In addition to being funny there is a profound truth in that story. We witness an event or a scene and we draw a conclusion that turns out to be mistaken. But we do not bother to confirm our suspicions and that leads us down an unfortunate path. People get angry hurt and upset as a result and it was easily avoidable, all you had to do was ask and for that you simply need to want to hear the truth.
That lesson is clearly seen in our Parsha and is beautifully illustrated in a Midrash relating to the events at the end of this weeks portion.
After sedom is destroyed Lot and his two daughters end up in a place called Tzoar and from there to a cave in the mountain nearby. The Torah then tells us that
(לא) וַתֹּאמֶר הַבְּכִירָה אֶל הַצְּעִירָה אָבִינוּ זָקֵן וְאִישׁ אֵין בָּאָרֶץ לָבוֹא עָלֵינוּ כְּדֶרֶךְ כָּל הָאָרֶץ:
(לב) לְכָה נַשְׁקֶה אֶת אָבִינוּ יַיִן וְנִשְׁכְּבָה עִמּוֹ וּנְחַיֶּה מֵאָבִינוּ זָרַע:
(לג) וַתַּשְׁקֶיןָ אֶת אֲבִיהֶן יַיִן בַּלַּיְלָה הוּא וַתָּבֹא הַבְּכִירָה וַתִּשְׁכַּב אֶת אָבִיהָ וְלֹא יָדַע בְּשִׁכְבָהּ וּבְקוּמָהּ
30. And Lot went up out of Zoar, and lived in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to live in Zoar; and he lived in a cave, he and his two daughters.
- And the firstborn said to the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth;
- Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
Their plan is carried out and the offspring are named Amon and Moab, who grow up to become nations at odds with the Jewish people.
The Mefarshim assume that Lot’s daughters really believed that the entire world was destroyed just as it had been in the flood. Maybe that perception is even understandable given the destruction that they have just witnessed. In hindsight we of course know that their perception was mistaken. They did not have that luxury but they are not blameless either. Before committing an act that they knew to be wrong, otherwise why the need to get Lot drunk, they should have checked to see that they were right. Take a day and shpatzir around the area to see if anyone else survived before you commit incest with your father and bear his children! But they did not and the results were not wonderful.
I believe that a similar point is being made in a famous Midrash related to the death of Sarah. At the end of our parsha we read the story of the akeidah, the binding of Isaac. The very beginning of next week’s parsha details the death of our matriarch Sarah. The Midrash, building upon the textual proximity develops a causal connection as well. The baalei hamidrash maintain that Sarah dies as a result of being informed of the akeidah.
Rashi cleans up the Midrash and simply writes that Sarah heard that her son almost died and that was enough to kill her. In Rashi’s reading Sarah knows the truth, she knows that Yitzchak did not die but the fact that it almost happened was a shock to the system and sends her into cardiac arrest.
A look at the text of the Midrashim themselves, however tell a very different story. The oldest version that we have has goes as follows. The Satan was annoyed that he could not prevent Abraham from taking Isaac to the mountain so he approaches Sarah after the Akeidah but before Abraham returns and asks her: do you where your son is? Do you know what he is doing? And Sarah says no. The Satan proceeds to tell Sarah that her husband has taken her son to a mountain and he offered him as a sacrifice. Sarah hears the news, cries and passes away.
This Midrash is chock full of difficulty. Here a caveat is important- we are not asking why it happened or how could God let it happen? That would be a good question if the Torah recorded the story. This question and the next few questions that I have are really questions on the Midrash and its authors, not on God and the Torah!
To the questions: The Satan must get someone, so if it won’t be Abraham then it must be Sarah. That seems to be unfair and even juvenile. If the Satan truly is under God’s control that we have a theological issue with the way that the world is run. A question that has always bothered me- why does Sarah have to suffer and die as a result of the akeidah and what reason do the sages have for making such a claim?
For my purposes today however, one thing that is quite clear and powerfully portrayed in the Midrash is that looking at a situation or in this case hearing about an incident or event and forming an opinion based on a perception without checking to see if it is true can have disastrous consequences.
The Satan did not lie- he did not say that Isaac had died; he simply reported that Abraham offered him to God as a sacrifice. That is correct, just not the end of the story. The Satan let Sarah draw her own conclusions and finish the story herself.
Why didn’t Sarah, in this Midrash, wait to hear if the report was true? Why not send out a servant after Abraham and inquire as to what happened and why? If she had known that Isaac was still alive would she not have died? Even if Isaac was dead but she knew that it was at the command of Hashem, would that have allowed her to keep breathing?
That we will never know because the Satan is smart. He understands that people often jump to conclusions and convince themselves of their veracity without ever pausing to see if they are true. That, according to the Midrash, is one of the tools of the Satan. We accept what we see perceive as true or what we hear as true without ever stopping to ask if they are indeed true and that can be disastrous.
It led to an incestuous relationship between Lot and his daughters. It caused the midrashic death of Sarah.
Certainly it rears its head and causes its fair share of problems in Jewish organizations as well.
