Achieving Unity
Adapted from Rabbi Braun’s sermon in 5772
We fasted last Thursday on the 10th of Tevet to commemorate the Roman’s laying siege to Jerusalem, the beginning of a sequence of events that led to the destruction of the temple and our exile from the land of Israel.
The Talmud tells us that one of the chief causes that led to the destruction was sinat chinam, baseless and unwarranted hatred. There was tremendous sectarianism during the time period in Israel; the Jewish people were fractured.
Nearly two thousand years later, we face the exact same issues. We have sectarianism and in Israel we have hatred between the religious and the secular and between the religious groups as well.
Is there any way to stop the cycle and introduce fellowship, love and peace amongst the Jews?
I am not nearly arrogant enough to think that I have the answers to this question, but I wanted to share some observations and ideas.
Our parsha contains two methods to achieving peace. After Burying Yaakov the brothers are afraid that Joseph is now going to take his revenge. Therefore they tell Joseph that Jacob requested before his death that Joseph forgive their sins.
The $64,000 is did Yaakov actually say this? Did he know about the sale and then instruct his children to tell Joseph not to harm them? That deserves a fuller analysis than I am going to give it today but this morning I am only interested in Rashi’s approach. He writes:
The brothers lied for the sake of peace.
I know that sounds like a terrible idea. How does lying bring peace?
This is also its own sermon but I believe that this lying for peace is only if there is no downside, and no one can get hurt. It usually means “don’t be too truthful or too honest when the truth will offend.” The Gemara’s example is that when asked if your friend’s bride is good looking and you think that she is vile, Beit Hillel argues that you always respond, “the bride is beautiful.” No harm and no foul, don’t express your true feelings when the only thing it will do is cause enmity.
Let me give you an example. When I was at Lincoln Square Synagogue we had a chesed fund and we distributed a lot of money to different charities over the course of the year. Every year two emissaries representing the institutions of Vishnitz would come and make their request. They were always well dressed and respectful and they would always tell me what a wonderful shul I have and what great work we are doing. I was pretty certain that they did not mean it. I was also pretty sure that if any of their children would end up at Lincoln Square Synagogue they would probably tear kriah. And I knew that it was in their best financial interest to be nice and complimentary. I also knew that I did not hear this from many of the other people who came soliciting. I will be honest; the respect that they showed us, even if they were “lying for peace” was appreciated.
As a template for today’s problem however, this is certainly not going to cut it. Firstly, “lying for peace” only works to avoid future conflict. It can only be minimally effective in trying to heal existing wounds. Secondly, “lying for peace” only works if the speaker has a real desire for peace. Neither of these applies in our scenario. We have an existing problem and at least for some no real desire for unity.
Another observation here is in order. This might actually be helpful in America where the animosity is not a part of our existence. In Israel where the Issue of army service, of one’s groups children dying while the other take no risk, and the burden that the government subsidies for the yeshivot and families places upon the country, animosity for one another is unfortunately a part of their existence.
The second approach might be more helpful although it is less explicit in our parsha.
Part of Jacob’s blessing to Joseph was that in the future, all of us would bless our children that they should be like Menashe and Ephraim. I give that blessing to each of my four boys every Friday night. Why Menashe and Ephraim? Why not Avraham and Yitzchak, Judah and Joseph?
One interesting answer that I came across was that these were the only 2 brothers who actually got along. What was the difference between Menashe and Ephraim on the one hand and the brothers on the other hand? The brothers in Israel were separate and spread throughout the land. And they had each other. Menashe and Ephraim were all alone and they only had each other. Sometimes being the only ones around forces us to bond and unite.
There were certainly many times in our history that the enemy forced us to unite, although even that did not always succeed.
Today, that is certainly not the case in Israel. While we do have external enemies, we have enough security and space in Israel that we don’t have to unite.
But what if there was a way that we could choose to do what our enemies used to force us to? What if we could force the people together?
What good would that do, you ask? I have thought about this for a long time and I believe that it is easy to hate the other when the other is an idea, a group of people over there. It is harder to hate someone that you know and might even like despite your ideological differences.
Tamar and now I have an uncle who lives in a wildly charedi neighborhood in Israel. He has a kollel in Meah shearim, his kids don’t go to the army, they don’t work, I am not even sure he would daven in our shul and he is my favorite of Tamar’s uncles.
Every time he is in the states he calls and often comes to the office to say hello. We have a great relationship because he is a really good guy. We do not agree ideologically but we know and like each other because we make the effort to spend time together.
I would suggest that model for the people of Israel. I think that if they took the time to get to know each other and each made some sacrifices the Jewish people would be less fractured. Imagine for a moment if Israel lowered the number of learning exemptions to the army and the number of government subsidies to by choice non working people. Imagine if all Jews spent time together in the army and worked side by side at their offices. It would be much harder to hate the secular Jew or the charedi Jew if he was your tank mate or cubicle mate and was a pretty decent guy.
Just imagine!
